Phobia

A/N: LJ prompt. A ByakuyaRukia (ByaRu) fic this time...
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Taken one by one, it didn't mean anything to him, as he picked up the shards of his broken heart and tried piecing them together. There was always something missing, something that caused the fragments of the picture he was trying to piece together to break time and time again, each time he thought he had managed to put them together.

It was like a puzzle. A puzzle that wouldn't hold unless he stuck the pieces together with glue.

But he knew that once together, the picture that would appear would mean the most in the world to him.
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Kuchiki Byakuya had never considered himself to be afraid of anything. He was fearless, he could take on Menos without breaking a sweat, he wasn't afraid of Arrancar. He was the revered Kuchiki-taichou of the 6th Division, and the 28th Head of his clan. There was nothing he was afraid of...

...except losing Kuchiki Rukia.

Rukia, though he never admitted it to her, was the source of warmth in his cold, cold world. She was the only person to see through his defenses, to see past the emotionless wall of ice that was in his eyes, to stare deep into his soul and see what kind of person he really was. Byakuya found himself growing attached to her, and though he told himself many times that the only reason for this was because she looked like Hisana and his heart hadn't truly healed yet, in reality, Kuchiki Byakuya loved her. He loved her with all his heart.

When he first learnt of her disappearance in the Living World, he was truly afraid, though he never showed it. He was afraid when he found her powerless, her power taken by the human boy, Kurosaki Ichigo. He thought that if the offending boy was eliminated, Rukia's powers would return and things would go back to normal.

Senbonsakura had warned him that it was not to be so, but he turned a deaf ear to her tinkling voice.

Then came the order for Rukia's execution, and the stoic captain found himself at loss.... torn between the promise he made to his late wife, and the promise he made to himself to keep the laws.

In the end, fear drove Byakuya to shunpo between the blade that was hurtling towards his sister's body, Senbonsakura letting out a scream as Shinsou sank into his chest.

"Nii-sama... Why?" Rukia had asked, her voice full of shock and fear. Why did you save me?

Because I love you.. And I'm afraid of losing you... Byakuya wanted to answer, but he couldn't. Instead, he settled on telling her Hisana's story; the truth.
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Things changed after that. It wasn't Byakuya alone that picked up the broken shards of his heart and pieced them together, but Rukia was with him, constantly by his side, to help him put together the puzzle he could never figure out.

And then one night, it was finally completed, after decades of putting them together. It was completed, with a single sentence, a single kiss, and a single whisper that spoke his name in the darkness of his room. The picture that formed was his future, a future that had a clear sky and sakura blossoms and the person that was now crying out his name, kissing him with incredibly soft lips.

Kuchiki Rukia was the glue that held the pieces of his heart together, and painted a vision of how his future would be.

Byakuya would not lose her, no matter what. Because if he did, the picture would go spiralling to the ground again, to shatter into a million pieces, never to be reconstructed.

Hisana had shattered it with her death, Rukia had pieced it back together.

And Byakuya wanted to keep it that way.
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Fear coursed through his veins, almost making him loose his hold on Senbonsakura. Minutes after Yamamoto-soutaichou had issused the order to infiltrate Hueco Mundo, Byakuya led his team in search of Rukia while Zaraki, Soifon and Hitsugaya fanned out to find Renji and the rest, and to take down Aizen if they could.

She was lying still. Too still.

"Rukia..." his voice came out as a hoarse whisper as he shunpoed to her prone from, kneeling on the ground to cradle her body in his arms. Blood stained Rukia's face and shikakusho, a broken Sode no Shirayuki still tightly held in her grasp. Nearby, the remains of the Espada she had killed lay, but he paid no attenttion to it, his gaze riveted on her pale, pale face, heart hammering wildly in his chest. He tried to search for a pulse, but there was none.

Already, he could feel the cracks begining to grow.
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Rukia lay curled up with Byakuya for one last time in his bed, her head tucked neatly under his chin, his arms wrapped warmly around her. Slowly, almost regretfully, she moved, trying to gently distangle herself from him. Byakuya stirred, and his voice rumbled in his chest as he stopped her. "You don't have to go, Rukia."

"I.. I have to, Byakuya," Rukia softly said. "Orihime is.. my nakama. I know how it feels like to be captured. I know the pain and loneliness of being locked up with no one there for me. She went through so much to save me... I can't just stand by and let Aizen do this to her. I have to save her."

"Rukia..."

"Don't stop me, because whatever you do, I will still find a way to Hueco Mundo, by hook or by crook." Rukia pushed away from him and got up to get dressed. "Nothing can change my mind. I will save Inoue Orihime."

Byakuya stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. "Then promise me this. Promise me that you will come back safe and alive."

Rukia had barely the time to blink as his lips descended on hers in an intoxicating kiss. When she pulled away half-dazed, she gave him a soft smile. "I promise. Let me go, Byakuya... Renji should be waiting by now..."
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"A promise is a promise, Rukia..." Byakuya said through gritted teeth, searching for her rieatsu since he couldn't find her pulse. "A promise is a promise... keep it!" Beside him, Senbonsakura lay in shocked silence, offering no comfort for her distraught master. "Rukia..." Byakuya closed his eyes, focusing solely on her and... there! It was the tiniest silver of red ribbon, but it was there, though unravelling at an alarming speed.

Rukia wasn't dead yet! She could still be saved!

Shinigami turned in shock and surprise as they felt Byakuya's rieatsu flare, and they turned around to see their taichou pour as much of his rieatsu as he could into his sister's prone body. Byakuya may not be good in healing, but he had studied the basics from Unohana once before, and could heal if he wanted to.

"Open your eyes, Rukia...." He tried ordering her as he fought to keep her tiny silver of rieatsu there, just there, so he could build it with his own reiatsu, and bring her back to life. "Open your eyes, dammit!" Byakuya never swore, never, but this was a desprate situation, and he didn't care if a thousand and one profanities spewed from his aristocratic mouth now. He just wanted Rukia to open her eyes.

"Nii-sama..."

It was the faintest of whispers, the barest twitch of a hand, the slight flutter of eyeslids, that Byakuya knew he had done it. He had saved her. "Rukia..."

And Rukia opened world-weary eyes, looking up at him with the faintest of smiles on her face. "Nii..... Byakuya-sama..."

There and then, Byakuya embraced her tightly, feeling her thin arms wind around his shoulders, hugging him in return. They never noticed the surprised and joyful cheers of the Shinigami that surrounded him, nor the elated cry of Senbonsakura as she scattered herself in her joy without Byakuya's command, swirling madly around them, enclosing them in a world of their own.

Rukia was safe, and that was what mattered. The picture that was his future would not shatter, ever again.
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For so long, he had been alone in his task of putting together his heart that Hisana shattered.

Then Rukia had come into his life and put it together without it breaking again.

It was then that Byakuya realised, Rukia was the glue to holding together his life, his future.

He also realised, he was afraid of losing her.

Because.... he loved her. More than anything else in the world.

He loved her.
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A few months later, after Aizen's defeat...

Byakuya smiled down at his wife that was curled up next to him, and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you," he softly whispered into her ear.

A small ghost of a smile appeared on Rukia's lips as she slept, as if his words had reached her in her dreams, and she squeezed his hand ever so slightly. I love you too......