Amnesia

A/N: Ar Tonelico. Probably my fault, I got sidetracked with the manga when I was supposed to be doing something else. >.<>____<;;;;; Nooo!! I'm not gonna copy that, but omg.. the idea is SO appealing! >A< *sighs and hangs her head* In my head, it's Aylen that's supposed to be singing, but I somehow see my main character singing, and I really need to apologize.... T____T'''''

Honestly, I can't make up my mind, so I'm just wasting time rambling here. >.>



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Amnesia
MazdaKitsune

Perhaps... not knowing her past was far less painful than knowing it at all.
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It was raining. And below her, she saw it, saw them, the sounds of a fight that echoed in the empty streets, the wet streets with splashing puddles and rain that fell like needles. Yet her expression didn't change, and neither did she move, the rain totally soaking her clothes so that it clung to her body like a second skin, but she didn't even feel the cold, what more shiver. The water that ran down her face looked like tears, maybe they were tears and she was crying, but who could tell in the rain?

It always seemed to rain now......

Jade Castero... no, Jade Cross stared out at almost nothing as she cried silently to herself, emerald eyes hidden by her bangs. Was it even possible to have her heart broken twice? Because it almost seemed that way. Today was the day she lived again, and the second time that her heart broke, but for totally different reasons this time. Today was the day she had regained her memories, and it had been absolutely painful. Even more painful than being dismembered, or torn apart by demons. Even the pain of death couldn't compare to this. A small bitter smile curled her lips. Curiosity killed the cat, they said. And it had definitely killed her now. She had been too curious for her own good. Someone had once said that nothing good would ever come out of it, and it had finally came true.

The past can destroy the present, and possibly the future. Just yesterday, she had been so happy, and she had told herself she was going to start a new life with someone she loved. Just now, old scars had been reopened, old loves had been rekindled. Because how was she going to move on, when the man she had once loved and died for was standing right in front of her?

To learn that she had been in love up to the point of being almost engaged to a different man that still loved her was a shocker, and had tore her heart in two. If he loved her that much and brought her back to life because of their love, why didn't he come to find her, rekindle that old flame long ago? Why did he give her the illusion of being someone else, to live in ignorance and happiness, even letting her fall in love with another man only to return her past to her? Oh yes, she forgot. She herself had asked for it. Oh, the irony of it all.... if only she could laugh, she would. After that, she couldn't even face Falcon, not after what they had done, what she had told him, and what happened back at Devil May Cry. So she ran. Regardless of the rain outside, of Buddy shouting at her to wait, she ran at full speed for a block or two, only to trip and fall to her knees in a puddle.

Buddy had caught up with her, but she refused to return to dryness and warmth with him, already sobbing too hard to even form a coherent sentence. Other times, she would have been embarrassed about wailing like a little child, but she didn't care at that instant. All she did was give him a little tag with Falcon's initial on it, much like the one she had bought when they were at the bazaar together, and told Buddy to pass it on to him and tell him she was sorry. Sorry for inflicting pain on him, sorry for having to learn that she was in love with Dante, sorry for running away like that, and sorry that she wasn't coming home tonight, wherever home was.

And so here Jade was, somewhere up above on a building's roof, watching as the three men fought off a bunch of demons that had appeared. Devil City didn't get it's name for nothing. It was one of the most famous spots for demons to pop up since it was on some kind of weak link of Hell, or something. They had still gone out to search for her in this weather, knowing that she hated thunder, but even her ears were deaf to thunder now. While trying to process her lost memories, she was oblivious to anything around her, not even realizing how she got up there in the first place. There was no way to describe the raging emotions in her; she didn't know how to vent it out, she was already crying, she couldn't scream, couldn't do anything.... except that a melody was bubbling in her heart, a song forming in her mind.

She knew, it was strange, but whenever she got particularly stressed, or sad, or anything at all, she either slept it off, or usually... she sang. Any type of song; slow and sad, loud and angry, sometimes even bitter, some where she screamed the lyrics to rid herself of the emotions she was feeling... this was one of them. Around her neck hung not only the ruby that Falcon had given her, but Aylen's keepsake, a beautifully engraved ancient ring on a chain, something like a channeling object the half-Asian girl used to focus on when she was harnessing the Phoenix's power. Before they left, Aylen had given it to her, lent it really, saying that it might come in handy, and she was right. Part of her wondered if Aylen knew something she didn't, and gave it to her in light of what was to come, but she didn't want to think about it now.

Her hand reached up, grasped the ring tightly within her fingers. She had seen Aylen's power before. With her.... would it work, even if she wasn't a vessel, but merely borrowing a tiny bit of the Phoenix's power? For the ring came from the Phoenix when it harmonized with Aylen, and the object, small as it was, carried within it's power, granting it to the person that wielded the ring. Jade took a deep breath, opened her mouth and began to sing.

"Over my tender shoulder
A forest sunk in thick mist
The concealed truth
Quietly, it echoes

Burnt on my eyelids
A monochrome world
Full of black shadows entangling

In the soaring rain of light
I want everything to melt into forgiveness
My frozen sin
Resounds painfully, like a lullaby"

As she sang, her voice echoing like the sad song of a dove through the rain, two rotating circles of power appeared around her feet, just like it had happened to Aylen, but instead of a glowing gold, hers was green. As a result of borrowing the ring, the Song Spell wasn't as strong or concentrated as Aylen's, but effective. She sang her heart out, eyes closed yet the tears still fell, spilled down on her cheeks to mix with the rain... that was slowing to a steady shower. Below her, her voice reached the fight below and Dante was the first to look up as any injury the men had sustained healed. Eyes the color of the sky was impressed by her display of power, no matter now temporary it was, and with her song creating a shield for them, the rest of the demons were dispatched easily.

"Gently touching my memories
A tender song shakes me awake
The warm vestiges
Rustling inside my heart

In this world mingled with noise
In this dazzling vertigo
Red flower petals are falling

All those scattered hollow dreams
I want to embrace and love them all
The innocent pain left behind
Wonders till far away, like a lullaby"

Her song brought about a sense of peace, although it held a great ton of anguish and sadness, it made the rain stop, and a ray of sunlight broke through the rain clouds. What Jade was singing would probably not be remembered later, since the song came from deep within her heart, speaking of her lost memories and how she felt at the instant. She was bewildered, a lost little child not knowing how to make a decision, but perhaps... there was hope for the future yet. And so she sang, healing not only the injuries of her friends, but the past injuries in her heart.

Then maybe she could just move on.

"The blurry sky of twilight
The hazy trembling moonlight
Reflected on my wet eyes

All those broken fragments of light
I want to gather them and erase the night away
Embracing my wish, until the day I am awaken
I will continue to softly whisper, a lullaby"

Everyone was looking at her as she finished singing, the circles of her aura disappearing as she opened her eyes. She had long understood... a Song Spell works only when someone is singing with her heart. When she wanted to express her feelings to someone. Aylen needed to be taught that, but not her. Still... a small smile curved her lips as she let her gaze linger over the boys before turning and walking away, leaving before they could catch her there. Jade didn't need the Phoenix to invoke a song spell. No.. miracles were already created everyday when she sang, whether it be happy, or sad. The song was a melody from her heart, a message she wanted to tell them, although she couldn't find the words to say it nicely. All she needed was some time.

There were still some old ghosts to confront, old demons to face, old memories to forget, and old tears to cry.

Only then, she would be able to take Falcon's hand and let him lead her home.

Amnesia. It was a song from her heart, and a melody from her soul.